Depressed...

As of today, I have decided that my future with a chemistry degree is pretty bleak.

All during work today, I have heard nothing but how much my coworkers hate their job, and how they are all off finding something bigger and better. Which typically they don't, and they end up going back to school. Taking something else.

Another one of my coworkers is going to quit soon. That leaves 2 people for sample prep...me and the lazy chick. What am I going to do? The coworker who is quitting, arrived two years ago from China. In broken English she told me, "It is better for you to find something else while you can Karen....the wage here is not very good". Whoa. This is pretty bad coming from a lady from China....

So what am I going to do? I have no idea. I wonder now if I am going to slave away at 11.50 an hour with 5-6 years of university education, 1 year worth of industry experience, and be miserable for the rest of my life. I am starting to wonder if this is all worth it. This chem degree takes a lot of blood and sweat work coming from me. Although I am not a superstar in school, every mark is slaved away. If I knew this was the end, I should have went into Econ or Management, something more practical, and at least I would have ended up with a job that pays more than 11.50 an hour.

I mean...5-6 years so higher education..only to find a low paying job..which you hate...and then you end up going back to school again. It's like "wha???" I thought I went to school for 4 years so I wouldn't have to come back. I mean..then what's the whole point? I should have just went to Sait and did a diploma there.

So I have no idea what to do. I can quit while I'm ahead...say screw off to the UofC and go to Sait and take something more practical. Of I can grind my teeth and bear through it. End up working at another lab..or worse..this lab....and be unhappy.

Although I know that to find a job that you love and one that loves you is pretty much impossible. I know that if you find a job that you like, it's only liking it for a certain amount of time, before you before to not like it anymore. But I really believe this situation is different. I mean, even if you don't like your job, at least you are still getting well paid for it. Here, it's like, people are so miserable, and you get paid shit. There is absolutly no incentive to stay.

And I mean....you have a degree...and you still get paid 11.50 an hour. It's like..oh my god.... telemarkers out there get paid more than me. I mean, Cindy works at shaw part time...gets paid more than me AND friggin part time benefits!!! I mean..what the hell!!!! For my company that is, not her, of course. What can I do for 11.50 an hour in the future? It'll do nothing. When I graduate, I'll have a billion loans, payment for this this and that, and I'll want to save up for my future....buy myself a pretty little house....with a pretty little car...and take vacations once in a while. I can't do that on 11.50 an hour. It'll get me no where.

I have no idea what I am gonna do...or what I want to do. But I think I have to decide soon, or make a plan soon, cause the future is really not too far. But if all of my coworkers see no future here, then chances are...I probably won't either.

Oh gosh...this is all too depressing..


Karen

Eek!! Where did the month go?!

So by and by, and at the turn of an eye, a month has almost passed. I can't believe it's been a month since I wrote on this thing, to which I was surprised. It really didn't feel like that long ago.

Since then, nothing has been new. Work is just...........work. I am beginning to really *strongly dislike* my job now. Partly cause of the work environment. Recently, a co-worker got "shunned" from her GC machine cause her calibration didn't work. So for the past week and a half, she did nothing but sit at the computer, because the boss was such an ass, not letting her do her job, and because she was mad at the boss, for getting so mad over what is considered to be a "small deal" in the lab. So a couple of days ago, she quit. I was so sad when I found out. She was such an asset to the lab...I mean...she was one of the few people who were cross trained basically. She knew how to operate and maintain all of the GC instruments in the lab. What are we going to do without her...I don't even want to know.

So, because of that whole incident, tensions are so high in the lab you can cut it with a knife. Everyone is afraid of making mistakes because it could essentially, cost your job. Everyone is bitter, and they don't want to be at work anymore, including me. This coming week I have to ask my other boss if I am able to stay on as part tme. I have a huge feeling that the answer will be no. Unlike last year, it was so important for me to stay on for the experience. And now? Experience or not...now I am not so sure if I do want to stay.

So, the computer busted last week and I spent all weekend on emergency surgery for the damn thing. What a pisser. Ended up having to buy a spankin new 80 gig hard drive for it. Double pisser. Anyways, it's fixed, and I think it's ok now. So far.

In other news, gas prices went up. Now it costs an arm and a leg for you to drive. Geezz. When is it ever going to go down? I mean, it's really pathetic. The other day it cost me $30 to fill up 1/2 a tank. Half a tank!!! It used to cost me $30 to fill up my whole tank!!! And today, I went out to buy more moisturizer for my face. Ponds lotion people decided to smack my moisturizer with a new spanking pretty pink bottle with frosted glass and raise the price of it up by $5 bucks. Oh my god. What is the world coming to?!

For some good news: I have kept my room clean for a month. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, a WHOLE month. For those who know me, and the state of my room, this is an amazing achievement. I deserve an award or something. It's in a perpetual state of messiness, and very often, you can almost never see carpeting. But now it's clean, and I am happy. Although it did take me a week to clean it (dust, shine, wipe, spray clean....spick and span from top to bottom), I am uber proud of ME!

My ipod shuffle came in the mail. Although it was such a gimmick for me to switch bank accounts from BMO to TD, I don't regret the choice. I will never go to BMO for anything at all. Lesson learned. Anyways, the shuffle is nice....all purdy and white. My beef with it, is where the battery indicator is located. It recharges via usb, but the indicator is on the opposite side of the side facing you. So ultimately, for me to check to see if it was done charging on my laptop, I had to pick the laptop up and look at it from that point of view. What a pain in the butt.

Books read this month: Dan Brown's Da Vinci's Code; Kathy Reichis Fatal Voyage; Marian Keyes The Other Side of the Story. What book should I read next?? I hope I get Dan Brown's Angels and Demons from my coworker soon. I really wanna read that!

Ahhh...I love weekends. Welps, gotta go. Playing Tower Defense on Frozen Throne (yay!)

-Karen

Long weekend officially over

Another month has come and go uneventfully. I just realized I have about another month and a half till school starts again. *sigh*...school. I despise going to school...I just want to be done and out. Maybe that's why I don't really strive at it like I used to...ah wells. At least this year will be somewhat easier. I am anticipating that my Chem 573 class will be brutal. I also have bchem and another chem class that semester. I hope I can deal with it all.

Gosh..this summer has gone by fast. That is sad. I wish it lasted longer. Maybe it's cause half of this summer has been spent stressing, worrying, pulling out hair, sleepless nights, of trying to balance full time spring courses and full time work. I am truly glad that phase of my life has come and gone. From now on, I know now that I cannot handle all of it, no matter how Superwoman I think I am.

My dog gave me a huge eye infection on Saturday night. My right eye was so swollen that it was only half as big, all red, and constantly watering. It was truly horrible. I had a lopsided face for a night. Then on Sunday, it got better...although it was still slightly swollen...so if you looked at me directly, you could still tell one eye was smaller than the other. I think it wasn't until Sun night/Mon morning it went back to original size. Imagine that. Karen with lopsided face. I know now my dog is lethal.

I think I'm going to cave in and start buying (and spoiling!) myself with some new books to read. I've always wanted to read Da Vinci's code, but never bought it cause I felt it was too expensive. But whatever now...I really want it. Sophie Kinsella..that author of those Shopaholic Series...also has a new book out that I'm very interested in. And so does Kathy Reichis...whose style is basically like CSI in a book. So I think I'll go bonkers in Chapters later. I also get paid this week.....boy oh boy...do I ever love pay days!

Darren's 5th year anniversary gift...it was the best gift ever:

3 words: I really love it =). Whoops. Ok 4 words then. I can't count!

Anyways, it's been bloody hot these past couple of days. I have sweat coming out everywhere.

-Karen